Last night (10th Oct around 9:45pm Malaysian time) someone near and dear to my heart passed away. I am so heartbroken but glad that she isn't suffering any longer. I've had to deal with 2 other deaths in the family but that was a LONG time ago. I was still a kid. I didn't know much about life and death. This one.. this one is really doing something to me.

So two weeks ago, during Spring break, I made an impulsive decision to fly home just to see her because I know deep down, I won't be able to do so when I get back this Summer. I never intended on going home until that Sunday morning, when I saw pictures that my dad sent, of her current state at the time. So I booked tickets to fly home that night. Words cannot even describe how happy I was to be back home, to see her one last time. I have to say, I started tearing up the second my plane touched Malaysian soil. I don't know what happened. I just felt tears running down my face.

Since I got back from Malaysia last Monday, I knew at some point I'd have to wake up to the inevitable. Every time I get outta bed and grab my phone, seeing the WhatsApp icon on my notification tab felt like a wave of anxiety running through me. But today was difficult. I had a feeling that I was going to wake up to this today. And I did.

It still doesn't feel real. Knowing that she won't be there when I go home this Summer doesn't seem real. I won't hear her voice anymore.

Being thousand miles away from your family at times like this sucks. Wish I was home. I remember one of the last things she said to me was "Mengaji elok-elok kat sana" (study hard in Australia). That's exactly what I'll do.

Note to self: spend everyday with your loved ones like there's no tomorrow, literally.

Hey guys! So I've teamed up with Adore Me to bring you date outfit ideas! Adore Me is a lingerie company where you sign up on their website and receive a package curated just for you every month!  They have a hugeee collection for you to choose from! And you get your first set for only $19.95! How cool is that?

So I came up with two, one for a casual day out and one for a more fancy night out!

Here's outfit #1:

When I think of casual, I think of jeans and sneakers! I love the look of a baggy pair of jeans and a fitted top. I also love the colour palette I came up with in this outfit. I think grey and pink go so well together! I'm not really one to wear jewellery. I used to wear statement necklaces all. the. time. but lately, I've been feeling the whole minimal trend. So I went with a pair of rose gold studs for this look. I'd also suggest that you dust on some highlight on the shoulders so that you'll look glowy af from a mile away.
So obviouslyyy at this point, you're wondering what do I wear for support for ya know, the girls... Fret not, I got you covered!! Adore Me has an extensive collection of intimates for any and every occasion! For this outfit, I recommend the Fairyn Push-up bra. For those who are on the bustier side, I'd go for the Azura Contour Plus! These bras can be worn with/without straps, which is perfect for this look!

Outfit #2:

So I was browsing through polyvore and came across this beaaaautiful blue dress. I just HAD to come up with an outfit based on that dress. With the body type that I have, I would so go for this dress for a night out. I think it flatters almost every body! I love the look of a massive cocoon coat over a bodycon dress. It looks so effortless! I went with a nude barely-there sandals to give the illusion of longer legs. I also went with a velvet clutch to add some texture to the look! Pair this outfit an all-matte eye look and a deep red lip and you're all set!
With this dress, I'd go for the Norella Push-Up bra to give me a little boost! For the bustier ladies I think the Jiselle Contour Plus would look lovely underneath this dress! Lovee the colours the Jiselle ones come in! So flirty and feminine!

I'm pretty proud with the outfits I came up with! I hope this gave you some inspiration on what to wear on your date! Click here to check out Adore Me's collection! You won't regret it!

'Til then!

I've been going back and forth about posting this. I'd type out paragraph after paragraph but I'd change my mind and delete whatever I wrote. But today was terrible for me. If you know me, the one thing I've been struggling with for the longest time is my fear of speaking in front of a crowd. Or even talk during a group discussion like today. My best friend can vouch for that.

During a group discussion today, my tutor decided to put me on the spot, asking me questions. I know it may not seem like a big deal but oh my god I hated it. All eyes were on me and I was just there silent and being so ridiculously afraid of fucking up. But the fact my mouth was zipped shut already meant I fucked up. I got so anxious, I wanted to breakdown. Such a pathetic thing to be upset over but I wish I could get over this. This is the reason why I wanted to study abroad in the first place - to break out of my shell. But I can't seem to do that! I'm not saying I haven't been voicing out my opinions during discussions since I got here but most of the time, I'm the quiet one in the group.

I need to learn to overcome this because this is how the real world works.

HEY HOOOO! I can't believe my last post was almost a month ago. I can't believe it's already week 9 of the semester. It feels like it was just yesterday I was bawling my eyes out because I missed home too much. Haven't shed a tear since week 3? I guess it's safe too say I'm handling homesickness like a boss. Can't believe how fast time has gone by. Spring break's next week and I am ecstatic!!

I don't have anything planned for next week though. I have 4 deadlines to meet after spring break!! FOUR. After spring break, there'll be 4ish more weeks left of the semester. AND THEN FINALS. Holy shit?

I have been wanting to do a favourite's post for awhile now as I have been using SO many new products that I love and want to share with you guys. I thought coming to Melbourne would slow down my spending habits especially on makeup because makeup here is expensive. But then, the day I decided to pay attention to the cosmetics aisle at Chemist Warehouse is the day they decide to do 50% on their makeup. So naturally, I went crazy-ish. It was all so cheap. How could I resist? One of the things I got was the Maybelline Fit Me stick foundation and dude!! It is so perfect for everyday! You best believe it will be included in the favourites post I mentioned earlier.

If my parents are reading this and are wondering if my spending habits are as bad as it was back home... well....

So I've been dying to go thrift shopping since I got here (they call them op shops here). There's a Salvos near where I live and I finally visited it earlier today. So many cute things! So many nice jackets! I saw a duster/blazer-type grey coat for only $15. If it were a size smaller, it'd be on my clothing rack right now. There was also a wedding dress, which I thought was odd because it made me wonder why would someone get rid of something of sentimental value?

I finally completed my Behavioural Studies essay that's due tomorrow, a couple of hours ago. Currently debating if I should take the day off from my responsibilities tomorrow and binge watch my favourite shows or start doing my marketing report. Hmmm....

Also, I'm coming up with a couple of date night outfit ideas for my next post, in collaboration with Adore Me! Stay tuned :p

1. I think I have post with the same title on my blog... meh
2. I am SO in love with Melbourne, it's ridiculous. Forever grateful for having the chance to move here. I love it here. LOVE

I miss my friends and family back home but I can't even describe how much I adore this city. It's stunning. It's rich. It's everything to me.

Somedays, I wake up feeling like I can conquer the world. Today isn't one of those days. I've been feeling a little more homesick than usual lately. I mean, of course living thousands of miles away from your loved ones, being homesick is normal and it occurs everyday. But today is just one of those days where I feel like locking myself up in my room and cry. It could be because I miss my mom's cooking? Dude, all I've been cooking the past couple of weeks are bland and dry (like my love life) mat salleh food. I miss having roti telur at mamak every Saturday morning with my family. I miss Nasi Dagang back home, miss hitting up Gula every now and then for their Choux Pastry. I miss Malaysian food so much.

But despite that, I did learn how to make Seafood Aglio Olio, which I'm really proud of. It tasted so good! It'd be ten times better if it the squid I used wasn't so... uhh liat (sorry idk the English word for this). I also made lemon & herb chicken with butter rice. I loveeed it and I gotta give credit where it's due; I asked my mom for her recipe so ya.

It's the little things I miss. I miss going grocery shopping with my mom. I miss opening my door and seeing my cats waiting outside my parents' room. I miss my big bed!!! Omg ok so, my bed here in Melbourne is a single. My bed back home is a queen sized bed. I like rolling around when I sleep. I've been so used to doing it that whenever I toss and turn in my sleep here, half of my body will end up on the edge of my bed. It's so frustrating!

You know, I thought I'd have the chance to explore Melbourne every weekend. But nope, all I've been doing is studying/working. Working my way to get the (H)Dssss hahahha

I really wanna get a job while I'm here because 1. minimum wage is so high compared to back home 2. I want more money for makeup..... I got myself 2 liquid lipsticks from Ofra and a gloss from Kylie last week. My parents have no idea... until now HAHA sorry. I'll stop buying makeup for the next 3 weeks ok, parents.

I can't wait for Spring break. Can't wait to give myself a day off and finally explore Melbourne. Exploring the city is all I think about.