Truth Be Told

by - Sunday, July 12, 2015

So I have been feeling a little upset about something probably since I graduated from secondary school. Some may think it's a small matter but it bothers me to the point where I'd feel so low about myself. The thing is, I hate the fact that I don't earn my own money. It's not that I'm not grateful to have my parents still supporting me financially at this age. It's just that I'm about to turn 19 and I still have to rely on my parents for everything. I envy my friends who have part-time jobs. I envy them for being able to say that they could finally buy whatever they want with their hard earned money. Not to offend anybody but I personally find it embarrassing to admit that my parents pay for everything while I go around lepak here and there and buy things I don't need with THEIR money.

I bet you're wondering why I didn't look for a job when I have months off of school. A) I don't have my own car. So commuting from home to work would be a problem. B) There aren't a lot of places that are walking distance from my place. I did apply for a job at Starbucks because that's the closest from home but that didn't work out.

Don't get me wrong on this but this doesn't just come down to the fact that I don't have my own money to spend on unnecessary things. Sure, I wouldn't mind being able to purchase something from the new collection at Topshop or the new lipsticks from the Giambattista Valli collaboration with MAC. But it's also about the fact that I want to save enough money to lessen the burden of my parents. I have been dreaming about studying abroad for the LONGEST time. Studying abroad will obviously cost a fortune. I hate knowing that it will make it difficult on my parents, having to fork out so much on MY dream. The tuition fee alone costs a lot. That plus the cost of living and other personal needs? Yeah, you get the idea. I just want to contribute financially to this dream of mine. Even if it's just a small fraction.

For months, I've been trying to figure out what I can do from home to earn some money. Thought of selling DIY goods but that's not something I'm into. Baked goods? Yeah, not for me either. I kinda wished that I could turn my passion into a source of income ya know? I just don't know how.

I guess this explains why I haven't been posting much lately. I felt so down and... I guess you could say depressed, about the whole situation. I just wasn't feeling motivated to write about anything. I'm pretty sure the root of this feeling is the people I watch on YouTube. I watch people my age buying their first car and renting their first place with their own money. Being able to say that they're financially independent is something I long for.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with this post as it is not my intention! Hari Raya is this Friday and I'm most excited about the food!!! I hope there's Nasi Dagang on that day! Selamat Hari Raya to all! Maaf Zahir & Batin!

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6 comments

  1. One day yaya, one day. I know you'll make your parents proud and you won't make them regret paying for your tuition fees and all the money they've spent on you. I'm sure of it. :)

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  2. You got the point girl. I totally feel you. Girl you can start selling your preloved items online. I did that and thats only my source of income. It does not basically give a lot of money but worth it. Bcs you dont need anything just thing that you dont use anymore. Hopefully this help. Happy raya to you yaya x im one of your reader hehe

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    1. Hi! Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way! I've actually been trying to sell my preloved clothing on carousell for awhile now. But unfortunately, no one has bought anything yet. Selamat hari raya to you too! You have a good one!

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    2. Can I know your carousell account?

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    3. https://carousell.com/yayafarisha/ :)

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